The Self-Doubt Monster

The last few days have been filled with less sleep for me and more cartoons for the kids (hey, don't judge me!). Why? Because I'm in the midst of editing my novel (I have a novel! Saying that will never get old.).

Overall, I'm enjoying the editing process. It's exciting and exhausting and scary. You have to take an honest look at your work. You have to be willing to make changes (like cutting a lot of words that seemed brilliant while you were writing them, but turn out to be less than stellar in the light of day). You have to put yourself out there and start sharing your edits with trusted people who can point out what still needs work. But the scariest part of editing?

The self-doubt monster.

My monster's mantra goes something like this: Sure, you might have had one or two great moments, but is that really enough? Do you really think anyone is going to want to read this? Do you really think you could actually get a publishing deal?

If you're a creative person, chances are you've met this monster, too. It's the one that--just when you start to think, "Wow, this is actually really good!"--sneaks up behind you and whispers, "But is it good enough?"

This monster tries to convince you your talents are lacking, your chances of success are miniscule, and you're setting yourself up for disappointment.

What's the key to turning this Bigfoot into a dust bunny, easily swept away in the wake of your awesomeness?

Strike the word "impossible" from your vocabulary.

If you can grasp hold of the idea that anything is possible and really, truly believe it, it changes everything. Because if anything is possible, you'll stop at nothing to learn more and do better and your talent will grow. If anything is possible, you'll persevere, even in the midst of disappointment. If anything is possible, you'll try again and again and again, because you've got just as much of a chance as anyone. 

Remove the word impossible from your creative vocabulary and your dream becomes very possible. And if you believe your dream is possible, there's no more room under the bed for that monster of doubt.

Picture Quote Monday {Alice}

Today, a bit of good advice from one of my favorite books, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

Meet Pinkletin

One of my early sketches of Pinkletin

Wondering why my blog is called Lemon Biscuits? For the answer, here's the synopsis part of the pitch I submitted to Pitchapalooza last month:

"But now, Pinkletin found that his list was much larger than his knapsack. And so it was that Mole found him, trying to decide between a set of encyclopedia and a tin of lemon biscuits..."

Dear Reader, allow me to introduce you to a teacup-sailing frog named Pinkletin. A frog with an adventurous spirit and an insatiable curiosity to find out what marvelous things are waiting across the pond, down the stream and over the horizon. From falling under the spell of the fairies' tales, to battling river pirates and accidentally joining the circus, Pinkletin soon discovers it doesn't take much to turn an ordinary journey into a fantastic adventure.

Hopefully Pinkletin and his delicious pastries will be hitting the shelves of a bookstore near you in the future. For now, I hope to have The Fantastical Adventures of Pinkletin Frog ready for beta-readers around June. 

Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion

You've heard the saying "never judge a book by its cover." Well in the case of Warm Bodies it's more like never judge a book by its movie trailer.

Don't get me wrong, I love the look of the film. Seeing the trailer was what got me interested in the story in the first place, and when I found out it was adapted from a novel, I knew I had to read it. But when I picked up the book, I was expecting something humorous; something along the lines of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies--thoroughly enjoyable, but so over the top it becomes almost comical.

What I found was a heartwarming story of hope, love, and choosing life.

R is a zombie. He wishes he could put into words the eloquent thoughts in his head, wishes he could remember more of his name than just the first letter. He doesn't want to be dead, doesn't enjoy eating the living, but that's just the way it is.

Until the memories.

Not his memories, but those of Perry, the young man whose brain R has just consumed. And when R chooses to save the life of Perry's girlfriend Julie, he sets off a chain of events that shakes what's left of the worlds of both the Living and the Dead.

My first clue that I was in for a surprise came in the first chapter. R is introducing himself, explaining what life is like when you're the walking dead. In an incredibly feeling inner dialogue, R mourns the loss of his and his fellow zombies' names because, "I'd like to love them but I don't know who they are." As the story progressed, I continued to be amazed by how touching and heartfelt it was. Even the love story seemed to fade in the midst of R's quest to give himself--and the rest of the world--a second chance at life.

As he and Julie struggle to fight the hierarchy and provoke change, you discover an eerie resemblance between the world of the Dead and the world of the Living. As R describes the zombie world with words like, "...the abandoning of quests, the surrendering of desires, the settling in and settling down that is the inevitable fate of the Dead" he could just as well be describing the living, who have made staying alive their number one priority while forgetting what it really means to live.

So much about this book is impressive. The pages are filled with R's deep, reflective thoughts on life and hope, which are downright inspiring. The characters are complex and authentic. Marion manages to create a zombie that you find yourself immediately rooting for, and more than that, a zombie that's not just a shuffling, possessed, broken figure of rotting flesh, but an altered human, with lingering emotions, thoughts and desires. In the end, I think readers like myself will find that while this book has all the elements of a great zombie story, it ultimately becomes much more than that--a beautiful tale of fighting for a second chance at life.

One last note for those of you who like to be forewarned: There's plenty of blood and gore and several uses of the "f" word, so despite the pg-13 movie rating, this is adult fiction.

On a Whim (Or How I Bought My Favorite Band Coffee)

You know that post I wrote a couple of weeks ago? The one about going for it? Well, when the list of Pitchapalooza winners went up on Tuesday, my name wasn't among them. Which is okay. Even though my pitch wasn't chosen to be critiqued and thrown in the hat for the grand prize, the biggest win is that I HAVE A PITCH...FOR MY NOVEL...WHICH I JUST FINISHED WRITING. That's huge!

Despite knowing all that, I will admit to feeling bummed (and to reading the list through a second time, r-e-a-l-l-y s-l-o-w-l-y, just to make sure I hadn't missed my name in there somewhere). But then something really cool happened. Something that reminded me of the importance of just going for it, in every area of life.

I read the list of Pitchapalooza winners while sitting in a City Brew in Missoula. My husband and I were there to see two of our favorite bands in concert (Paper Route and Anberlin) and were killing time before we could go check into our hotel. Of course this meant that we were both perusing the interwebs while sipping our chai lattes. Round about the time I was getting over my disappointment, my husband was on Twitter. At that particular moment, Anberlin tweeted that they were sound checking. On a whim, my husband (who is much better at just going for things than I am) decided to reply.

"Hey @anberlin @paperroute you guys need a coffee run? We are at City Brew and will bring you some!"

Crazy, right?  An hour later we were sitting in our hotel room when we got this reply from Paper Route:

"@A_RMartin Seriously?"

And that's how we ended up taking coffee to our favorite band.

The moral of the story? If you have the opportunity to do something cool, go for it. Even if it seems crazy.

Oh, and the fun didn't stop there. Later that night I replied to a tweet by fellow writer and blogger Ksenia Anske to tell her about my successful strategy of tackling my novel one chapter at a time. She replied with this:

"Everyone, guess what, @AshleyN_Martin has completed 1st Draft of her novel. Let's all shout, WOW YOU DID IT!"

I was immediately flooded with congratulations and well wishes from a bunch of wonderful, encouraging, totally awesome complete strangers. 

All in all, it was a pretty great night.

To everyone who took the time to send those beautiful tweets my way--thank you! I am so grateful to be a part of such an amazing community of creative and talented people. Keep up the good work and don't be afraid to have a little whimsy and go for it! You never know what might happen.

Look Inside

It's Picture Quote Monday! A bit of inspiration to start your week...

Book Zombie

Besides writing stories, the other thing I've loved to do since I was a kid is draw. Growing up, you'd typically find me with either a book or a sketch pad in hand. So for today's Saturday fun, I thought I'd share a recent bookish sketch, inspired by one of my favorite quotes.

Speaking of zombies, I'm currently reading Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion. Stay tuned for the review!